We rode all night. Last night we left Konitz in the dark. My heart seemed to get lighter/easier as we left Konitz. It was fearful to stand in the wagon on the tracks and wait for the train locomotive, just like that night when we loaded into the Warfront Kitchen. (In Latvia we were in a train station waiting for the train which never came because the town was being overrun by the Russian army. If it hadn’t been for the meeting with the German Kitchen unit we wouldn't be here.) In this wagon it is warm and comfortable. A heated wagon with beds in the upper story. I experienced a wonderful moment last night. Everything is dark and I have fallen asleep. I wake when someone in a strong voice is praying to God for all who are in the wagon, for all the refugees, for all that are traveling. I knew already that in our midst was a German minister from Estonia. That was wonderful as he vocalized everyone's quiet prayers. We rode all night. Towards morning we stopped and others said that somewhere over the fields by the prison barracks. Then the train moved forwards and then backwards and in the morning light the train was standing on the tracks opposite a station marked Libusch. (I believe that the station was called Liebusch and that after the war is now known as Lipusz. If this is the village we went thru in 1945 then our route took us 51km north fron Konitz and then another 100+ km's to Bobolice and Swidwin.) From the small window over the bed you can see houses and a village with a church. When we noticed a coal wagon on the other tracks we all hurried to get more coal as our supply was running low. We found out that this wagon with the heating and other comforts such as the beds had become available to us by total chance. The railway men had arranged this wagon for their own departure but the wagons needed to be switched around and the railway workers had to remain behind until the last. Someone is saying that the tracks ahead are cut and we will have to return to Konic. Whatever God wants will happen. I however have a strong belief that all will go with luck for us until the wars end which we will survive. How can you doubt when all has turned out so well so far. In Germany the status is horrible but what will become of the people? Will the victors treat them like the evacuees are treated in Germany? Will they force educated women to leave their children in the nursery and force them to work with tools on the railway tracks. I feel bad for Petja. She and her mother had to work all day and then work at night in the trenches and then get up in the morning and go. (I have no knowledge of who Petja was but I suspect that it was someone that my father came in contact with along the way.) I do not know how the German women would endure this in comparison with the stronger Russian women. What lays ahead for anybody who survives and remains alive?

We ate not moving forwards. We have stood in place for at least 20 hours and maybe more. For two nights and a day we have been close to the town of Stivelbein in Pomerania.(I did some research and did find a town called Schivelbein-German version, it has now been renamed in Polish to Swidwin. I strongly suspect that this is the place as it is in a general line with our route from Konitz to Rostock.) Two days ago from early morning until the afternoon we stood in the station Bublitz. Herbert is very resourceful. With the food card he acquired bread and potatoes. (There is mention of the food cards and sausage, cheese, and butter but I believe that these things were indicated on the food ration cards but there is no mention that Herbert acquired any of these items.) It is good to be out of the wind. I do not permit myself to leave the train. I did go only once and then to the kitchen and got milk soup for the children. Eating is pitiful. Who knows how long the train will stay in place and thus we have to make do with what we have. The train can only move when the tracks are clear and thus we sit and sit here. Here are two women with three children who have nothing to eat. The children are crying but we and others also have nothing to give. The minister said that we each have been given two limitless talents: 1. Breathe fresh air and 2. help each other. If he wants to help let him help. Nobody has much and we all must eat. (There are a few sentences before this last one that I chose not to include - they are out of context but I will just mention that they do express her despair with the food situation. She also had to feed two children. I do not feel that I could fully explain her feelings at that time.)However I feel very good sitting in a heated wagon in the upper story by a window. Others have no beds, others are downstairs in darkness. There are cold wagons also. This is Gods mercy that led us here. Sunday we sat in this wagon and have ridden and stood still for four days. One of the railroad workers came in the car and said that now we are 30 kilometers from the front lines, in the front where everything is turning. How can you foretell how it will turn out. How can you escape the fires of the front? I want to survive the end of the war so badly that thoughts about survival have almost become mechanical in nature - we will survive. In our situation we have suffered but we have suffered little in in comparison to the people in the camps. Living conditions have been hard but we have eaten and given these conditions it has been enough. Everything can be overcome if one has health and something to eat.

Herbert is baking potatoes in the coal ashes. (Grandma always talked about how good these potatoes were) We will eat those for three days. It will be interesting, the food cards have expired, who will give us new cards and how will we get food. We will go where the train takes us. We are warm.

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